Why Professors Hate Math Majors

We think of everything in terms of numbers, probability and variables to be solved for. Using these things, math majors are incredibly good at calculating EXACTLY how much work we don't have to do.

For example, I have a 108% average on my midterms (prof gave WAY too much extra credit and graded very generously), both worth %15 of my total grade. I got a 24/25 on participation, which is worth 25% of my grade (worth way too much in my opinion - when participation matters almost as much as both midterms combined, you know you've got an issue), and a 15/15 on my article review, which is worth 15% of my grade. If you run the math on that, I have 71.4% out of an available 70%

My final exam, which is comprised of four essays of varying difficulty, is worth the final 30% of my grade.

Here are some interesting numbers for you.

If I don't do my final: 71% = C-

If I do half my final and get decent grades on the two essays: 81-86% = B- to B

If I do three of the essays and get decent grades: 88.5% to 93.5% = B+ to A-

If I do all of them and get at least 80% on them: 95% = A

Right now, I have written two essays and they are near perfect (considering how this class grades, I'd guess they are at least 6.5/7.5). If I were to stop now, I get an 84%.

Lets think about this: based on where I am now, I can get away with getting 43% on my final exam, and still get a B in the class. This tells me two things: 1. I did very well in this class leading up to this term and 2. the grade percentages in this class need to be reworked.

So, why math majors are dangerous: I know that as it stands right now, the lowest grade I could possibly get is a B, so even though I have two essays in front of me that are gonna be really hard to write, I know that they don't have to be great, because even if I only get 50% on each one of them, I still get an A-. This encourages me to work less hard. Although doing anything less than my best simply isn't in my nature, and I will write those essays as if my life depended on it, I am merely pointing out that if I wanted to, I could slack off. I love giving myself perfect and justified reasons to not do work. Whereas most people will just make up excuses to be lazy, I make mathematical deductions and proofs as to why I can afford to be lazy.

LAZINESS QUANTIFIED! (that will be the name of the book I publish, and it will be all about why math is fun, and how you can use it to get by in your daily life, including uses of algebra and calculus)

I was all worried about these essays last week, but once I let my math brain take care of me, I feel all relaxed. It could almost be described as warm and fuzzy, even to the point where I can justify writing this note when I have essays to write!

I have done this in almost every one of my classes at the end of the term, and I have almost never done the last homework of the class if I am doing well, because it usually happens that a class with homework sets it at roughly 25% of the grade, and with 8 or 9 homeworks, each one is worth 3% of your grade. And with me being the guy I am, and having a good idea about how well I will do on the final, I can almost always deal with throwing away 3%.

Try it sometime, if you work your ass off all term, finals become much less stressful if you know exactly how much work you have to do to get a certain grade!