New Word: Lazanthetic

To begin, some definitions in preface, according to my dictionary
Lazy: averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.
Apathetic: having or showing little or no emotion


My new word, while it is not a perfect blend of the two in spelling or in definition, serves its purpose well enough.


Laz·an·thet·ic
[laz-n-thet-ik] /leiznˈθɛtɪk/


-adjective
1. having or showing interest or emotion, but averse or disinclined to work towards the object of that interest


There is a fairly complicated logic behind why the spelling is what it is, and unless you think linguistics jokes are funny, you will simply give me the internet version of a blank stare, which I generally try to avoid.


Now, why have I invented this word? Because in my search through the dictionary, I cannot seem to find a word that describes the phenomenon that I have observed, and so I decided in my somewhat sleep-deprived state to invent such a word.


The above mentioned word was given the necessity to exist this morning. I had decided to pick up a new juggling/spinning tool called a double-sided meteor hammer (or "meteor" for short, because nobody uses a single sided one, and if they use something similar, they call it a rope dart when it comes to circus equipment - if you want more information, I can guarantee you that wikipedia can tell you everything you want to know about it) due to my stupid need to learn new things constantly. Anyway, the basic "need to know" of a meteor is that it is a ~4.5' rope, with two weights on each end. In the chinese version, which was a weapon, they were two heavy metal balls, that when spun into an opponents head... well... hurt. In circus, they can be two rubber balls or something similar for practice, or they can be two wicks for purposes of BURN! I don't have one of these, so I improvised by tying two sock poi together. The rope is a bit short, and the weights aren't heavy enough, and the poi are uneven, so I had to adjust for that, but the idea is there.


I posted this such news on Facebook, greatly abbreviated of course, followed by conclusion that learning meteor hammer is similar to learning poi; very frustrating, and you get hit in places you least expect - in this case, the spot on my head behind my right ear (note: if someone asks you what area of your body you want to get hit gently but repeatedly should you be forced into it, there are two areas not to tell them: groin and the place behind an ear), and this second post was met with some interesting comments, which will be edited for names and shortened to give you the highlights.

Abby Normal: good luck, I would have knocked myself unconscious with one... do NOT have that type of coordination.... ~hugs~

Me: nah, can't knock yourself out - my meteors are beanbags. Anything is possible with enough training, though. I worked hard on this for 5 hours straight to get the tricks I know. Practice Practice Practice.

Abby Normal: this is why you're awesome, and I'm a complete nooblet! I need to visit one day and be seriously humbled...

Now, I have been preaching this philosophy for years, and it has reached many ears, but not enough obviously, so I shall write a blog about it, and I shall send a link to it to anyone who says such things as Ms. Normal does (there is a joke waiting to be made about her name that I set up completely accidentally, and I am a little bit pleased with myself for it - you'll see it soon enough).


Before you can understand this philosophy of mine, lets call it the "If I can do it, so can you" philosophy, or Tao of Nike (Just Do It! get it?), I will explain to you how I got into the ground based circus arts (i.e. non-aerial/acrobatic, which have stories all to themselves).


When I was around 16 I believe, someone showed me a video of a man named Chris Murdoch doing something awesome called contact juggling, and I decided I wanted to do it, so I went and found some tutorials on ContactJuggling.org, and started learning with a grapefruit. I ruined a lot of grapefruit, but this was a non-issue, considering the grapefruit tree in my yard that produced more fruit than we knew what to do with. If you choose to learn with fruit before you spend money on supplies, use something that is readily available and very round, reasonably large, and heavy (i.e. not a lime). Anyway, I spend approximately three weeks learning the butterfly before I was confident in showing to my parents and friends (with the grapefruit) and decided I wanted to buy some practice balls so that I could stop ruining potential fruit juice. I would not even like to estimate the number of grapefruits met their demise falling off of the back of my hand.


Anyway, I decided to learn traditional juggling as well - it made sense. Now, as many jugglers will tell you, every time you add another ball, the difficulty (and number of drops) increases 10 fold, so when you juggler three balls as supposed to one, you get 100 drops proportionate. As someone who has learned to juggle, I agree with this statement. So I kept going, and kept dropping what were not objects resembling fruit (thank goodness) and I kept working at it. I chased my balls all over the yard, and I picked them up (until the greatest day ever: the day I learned kick ups - my back was quite happy with me that day) until I finally got it.


Finally, now that I have gotten past my basic history, I will get to my very blunt point: YOU THINK I WAS BORN THIS COORDINATED? HELL TO THE NO! I worked my ass off to be able to keep track of three balls at the same time, and to be able to change throws and mix combinations together. How did I manage to do it? I juggled. A lot. I'm talking the kind of a lot where normal parents would say "get off the computer" my mom would yell into the back yard "Stop juggling you idiot, you have to eat sometime" and I would yell back "BUT I'VE ALMOST GOT MILLS MESS!" which I didn't actually get until 3 months later in my father's living room, but that is the story of insane determination and dedication, which is another lesson I learned for juggling, and belongs in a completely different blog entry.


Two nights ago, I spun this stupid thing around and hit myself and dropped it and knocked shit over (every time worrying if my dad and Sheila had woken up, which they didn't... or if they did, they just rolled over and whispered "I wonder what crazy thing Connor is trying to learn now") and kept going. I would take a break every 20 minutes or so to get some water, or eat something, or watch an episode of some TV show I had downloaded. That's what purpose TV serves to me these days - relaxation in between episodes of training. And most of the time, I stretch while watching TV.


Final words, I promise.


When someone comes up to me and remarks about how coordinated I am, or how talented I am, or how amazingly badass and sexy I am when I roll that ball on my arm (ok, maybe not that last one - but the other two I do get from strangers) I just want to tell them that they could do, if they would just obey the Tao of Nike. If they would take a half hour out of every day to learn a new skill, and then to practice it 30 minutes every day instead of watching TV or something else mundane and useless, they would be able to do all that I could do. Anyone who says that they wish they would love to do what I can do, but just aren't talented enough or coordinated enough, they are lazanthetic. They want to, but not bad enough to put their mind to it, and actually work for something you might not succeed at the first time.


So Abby, your reaction to what I do is understandable - we live in a fairly lazanthetic society - nobody wants to fail, so many don't try. And those are the people looking wide-eyed at me on Saturday mornings putting money in my hat for something that they could do. You really are completely Normal - are you bored of that yet?